FW:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS   . And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN. ' 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a'TOTAL ASS'- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!) 6. It's not his'CRACK'you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'     =  

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(FW: FW: )"To my girls, here's to the shit we talk, the guys we stalk, the way we shop, the laughs we can't stop, the gossip we spill, the looks that can kill. To having eachother's back, to the next morning gettin' all the facts, drownin' the beers, spillin' the tears... We'll stay together through out the years"! "You're one of my 10 favorite chicas! if i dont get this back im obviously not a good friend i love you!! . .

my condoms

FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE LIKE CONDOMS, ALWAYS THERE 2 PROTECT U WHEN THINGS GET HARD! THANKS 4 BEIN MY CONDOM!

Why dont vegetarians moan during sex? They refuse to admit a piece of meat made them happy! Keep this going.:)

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The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already

been infected and WORK is controlling ur life! HAPPY HOLIDAYS < :)SMILE:)>

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Where is my one who makes sure i have the best orgasm rather than the one I thought was good? The woman who will always pet and hold me until I sleep and appreciate every time I shave? Where is she?

Mad cow (no beef), Bird flu (no chicken) and now Swine flu (no pork)...guess the only thing safe for a us to eat is pussy!

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I love it :-) you being a dork that is. And I shaved because I'm getting some again! You can have whatever you want from me

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Last night was amazing, coming into the room and you being naked, or at least as naked as I like best and all the petting and loving, it was amazing. The sex came as quickly as it started, I would have loved to have had you inside me forever or at least long enough for me to tell you I was done. I understand your fingers stung, but you can't keep your tongue and your fingers from me, what's left? You're fingers are my favorite, I need them more. I love them... I love you. More tonight? I shaved for you... :-)

No sense in getting naked after pm's! How about more soft kisses & petting of my body? Want me... Need me... Show me... You

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She was ready for me last night. After I had taken pm's and just got out of the bathroom with a sick tummy, she was laying in bed in only her boxers, just how I like her. I wasn't ready. I was feeling sick and my bottom hurt and I had just told you how I wasn't in the mood. She pet me, I rubbed her, I started falling asleep and she asked me about it and then I woke up and started getting grabby with her and then she dove on me with hard kisses and before I knew it her fingers we're inside me and I started to get in the mood. My body really started opening up to her, loving her, and I was getting into it, moaning asking her not to stop and then she just stopped, she was done and I wasn't even close. When she told me her arm hurt and her fingers burned, I knew she was done, so I curled up on her and passed out. What else was I going to do? If I would have given her any I would have just ended up way more frustrated, all I could do was sleep.

You're right tho her lack of want of sex is really gonna send me running... I've already been thinking about it. It's been

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I'm back to a point where I don't even want her. Her lack of desire for sex is killing my desire for her. How much does tha

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Valleyair.org

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I just had a scary thought. If someone grabbed me and tried to abduct me or rape me, there would def be a fight or I would end up dead. M leaves me sitting in the truck with it running and her window down all the time and it's often at shady places. If someone came to the truck and tried to get in the first thing I'd do is grab the keys and launch them as far as I possible could. When that pissed my attacker off and he threatened to kill me I would tell him that although I'm not ready to die I am also not afraid of dying so that's not a threat. I would never back down, I would never break. I would bite, kick, scream, hit, anything I could to survive and escape but no matter what anyone ever does to me they won't have the satisfaction of breaking me down, I'll fight until I die.

Hit the 80 in Sac, the 93 in Wells, NV, 86 in Twin Falls, ID, 15 in Pocatello, ID, into West Yellowstone!

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Morning after straight hair!

Real Stunners!

Merry Xmas!

Melissa got me: ring, fleece throw, karaoke game, jewelry box, movie guide, sexy lengerie

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Morning after straight hair!

Morning after straight hair!

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The fireplace... My mom doesn't add extra stockings to this, but there's one that says Melissa B under mine

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No Jenn! I will not be Cindy-Lou Who

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Merry Xmas (do i look ok?)

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So if I'm in a relationship where the one I love can handle me being crazy lil me, what's the one big thing I need? SeX!

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I sit in the tub with my only friend, the only one who wants to join me, my phone, my blog. Lately I've gained weight, not a lot, but enough for me to notice and my figure sags further every day. I'm unhappy and I'm in love. I'm in love with someone who has hardly no interest in me. She swears she loves me, that I'm the one, the most beautiful, yet can't find it in herself to hardly kiss me, so def not to make love to me or to appreciate my body. She'd never sit in the bath with me for fear I might try to get sexual. We haven't had sex in weeks and she still shows no interest. She's sick but she's never not sick so is there really just no time I turn her on? How can she look at me and not find me irresistable? Why doesn't she look at me and want to touch me? What's wrong with me? Why do I sit in the tub in tears, wishing, hoping, praying... When will she want me, physically?

Sometimes we're sweet and cute!

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She sent this 2 me 2 make me feel better

Honey, you mean the world to me...we have our rough moments but we get through them together and i know for a fact that if we didn't love each other the way we do we wouldn't be together today...i'm sorry that i'm not completely what you want but you make me want to do better for you and myself...you are amazing and you are one of the most beautiful women i have ever met...i love you with all my heart and here lately you make me fall in love with you all over again each and every day

I dont believe it i know it

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Someone who will spend time telling me I'm loved and trying to make me feel wanted and loved.

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RIP Actress Brittany Murphy dies this morning from cardiac arrest. Known for her roles in "Clueless" & "8 Mile", she was 32

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Bitches and hoes leave us alone!

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FW:

Lesbian speed dating! 2 minutes to convince someone to want you more than everyone else...

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Ahh Hayward... 4 kids, dinner & a bar...

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Merry Xmas

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I'm waiting for someone to read this, hopefully M, and for it all to be made better. Right. What a dreamer I am...

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I take life to seriously. I'm not a fan of watching people in every day life and laughing about it. I hate reality tv and m

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I need someone new to drive crazy. No long term relationships or commitments.

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I think i'm going to leave for real. For real this time.

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I just can't remember things and I hate it. You hate it and I hate myself for it. I'm like a child needing some things expl

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Has had and can hold a job.

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Willingness to try things and to get me to try things.

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I loved you so much while you were sweet and sleeping. You even elbowed me in the eye and still I was just so hooked... Then you woke up and were so harsh in waking me... I feel like I hate you now.

I stay so quiet, keep so still... I'm so sweet... You're so loud, so abrasive... I love you, can't I get the same courtesy?

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741 darwin st lanford il

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I lay here and wrap my body around yours and hold your boob in my hand, you're all mine. Do you do this to me, think it of

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I can't get enough of you. I want to eat you up. You're beautiful and sexy and smart and fun. You're everything. Am I yours

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A picture of me possibly topless with my heart exposed

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Bogo gift card

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Understanding and patience. I am crazy, difficult to deal with and afraid of everything.

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Confirmation. I need to be told and reminded all the time.

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calusa

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Oct 10 1960 aunt nita and uncle howard freshly married moved in w/mamma & pappa uncle ronnie was born aunt nita tried to cook chilli pappa insisted on peanut butter sandwiches

Stipulatory eaters. If you make chilli you have to eat my peanut butter sandwichs... If you make northern beans you have to

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FW:

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I am a lover. I'm erotic. I'm sexual. I'm a redhead and a scorpio. I'm bipolar. All of these things make me hyper-sexual and it effects my moods. I need an agressive someone.

Sex. Head. I need them both.

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Teenage angst again

Someone who may not be super strong but can at least assist.

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Someone family oriented who will participate and go along with my families antics.

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Someone who is supportive. Ex: maybe that wasn't the best decision honey but I'm here standing behind you no matter what ha

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Someone who always wants to make me say wow.

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Yes, we fought, but when we weren't fighting we were actually happy and doing great things for each other. It's harder to s

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Address is 845 s Amor st mountain house 95391

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Fresh out of the shower!

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I hate this. This isn't what i meant or wanted. I didn't even want brayden to go, i just wanted her to own up to the mistake and take some responsibility for it. Now i feel horrible my mom is going to be mad at me for god knows how long and jess and chris are punishing Zackary. If jess just wouldn't have hung up on me it would have been a joke i would have given her Shit for the pjs and it would have been done. I cant even imagine what you think of me for this and i'm sorry you had to be here for all of it and hear all of that.

Please say something. This is breaking my heart. I hate that i did this to them. I just get tired of her doing stuff like t

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I hate this. This isn't what i meant or wanted. I didn't even want brayden to go, i just wanted her to own up to the mistak

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I need someone to make my life magical, a kind gentleman to treat this faerie like a queen. Dance with me to fireflies? I've got a lot to offer kind sir, seek me out my beautiful lady, together we can be queens and rule each others worlds!

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We don't want the same things, how can this work? If you don't talk to me it just won't work. It can't work if I have no reason to work with you on this. I won't stay in this hellish wasteland without a reason, without just cause, so what's your's?